Dear love,

Well. Now I know why I was so emotional on the last post.
Pregnancy has a funny way of making a girl cry.
//
It’s been 7 weeks since I’ve been on bedrest, and baby girl and I are going on 17 weeks of her growing in my tummy. It’s also been 7 weeks away from my husband (we got married, Sept. 4th, 2010!) and my sweet baby boys. Now, for one out of many of my countdowns, 9 weeks until my Brandon and boys are home here, and he’s done with school. December 17 will be his last day of culinary school, and that night they’ll all be here with me, and I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. I just can’t wait to sleep next to me husband and wake up to my annoying cats and retarded dog.
It feels like the days are getting longer, and harder. My body aches from not being able to do anything, making it hard to just not do anything. Go figure.
As soon as I start crying and losing my mind, I feel her move. I think she’s telling me to quit and suck it up, because after all, she’s in there, very much alive, and very healthy. Each day is another milestone for her and me. Day by day by day..after all, I remember seeing her for the first time on an ultrasound, just a tiny little grape, and Brandon and I tearing up when we saw her bean-like body curl up for a split second. Now she’s kicking and swimming in my tummy so much. The human body and creation is unreal. My weekly countdown told me she’s about the size of my hand, or a big baked potato. Such a big and growing girl.
Now, Brandon and I have a name for her, and let me tell you it is so beautiful. But I’m being selfish and don’t want to reveal it for a while, so for now I’ll refer to her as baby “chicken”.
Chicken and I’s plans for today are watching tv, facebooking, attempting to get into a new book, coloring, and probably taking a nap here and there. Ah, so exciting. Throughout this whole process, I’ve come to realize that friends are just really shitty, and that I have pretty much none. The ones I did have are dead-beats, and I sure as hell don’t want them around my child. So I thank God everyday that I have an amazing husband and family that will always be there to take care of me.
As for another countdown, March 20th seems so far away! Just 5 more months until I get to hold “chicken” and see what she looks like. Will she have my black hair, or Brandon’s red? My big eyes or his tiny eyes? My big arab nose, or his normal good looking nose?…So many questions. And literally, so much time to think about them.
Her little ultrasound pictures are adorable, although she looks a bit creepy (give her a break, she’s only skin and bone at the moment) I think she’s the most beautiful little thing I’ve ever seen and I already love her so much.

Now as for this long post, I will probably not do another one this long, and I don’t know if this will turn into a bedrest/pregnancy blog or just me writing my feelings down for everyone to read kind of blog.
But, mine and “chicken’s” lunch is ready,
Xo.

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