Oh my goodness. That’s a long time. But, I’ve been pregnant for 124 days…hopefully the time clock will be good to me.
I’ve never been a patient person, so God is really testing me out by just being pregnant and waiting 9 months, and for also placing me on bedrest like, super early.
I talked to my high risk doctors nurse yesterday, and she said that hopefully by my next visit(Nov.4, so very very far away), my placenta should be moved some, and hopefully the lakes will have decreased in size, resulting in me possibly having a normal third trimester. I’ve been praying about it a lot, because in all honesty, I want that baby safe. And I won’t lie- I’d love to just be able to walk around a grocery store like a normal human being without the glares of scooting in my scooter and getting those, “she’s just a lazy pregnant lady” looks.
People need to quit being so judgemental by the way, I only get to get out every once in a while, so it’s a special occasion for me, but it’s ruined by the awkward looks and smirks. I’m just trying to stay sane while keeping my bun safe in the oven.
I’ve also discovered that I need to quit letting my jealousy get in the way of my life. I see all of these pregnant women/girls that don’t even want babies, or that just constantly complain about not being able to drink or go out on the weekends, and here I am, a married woman stuck living with my parents, miles away from my husband and babies, with the constant worry of my baby, when all I’ve ever wanted was a baby and a family…BUT. I have to snap myself out of it, because God is good, and he saved my baby girl 2 months ago, when I could’ve lost her. And I’m so thankful because I don’t know how I would’ve gone not ever hearing that sweet heartbeat, or feeling her flutter around when I sneeze. Life is bittersweet, and you’ve gotta roll with the punches…even if they are hitting you while your down.
I also want to mention that I am so proud of my husband. He’s almost done with school! (yay!) and he’s already got a job/externship lined up for when he comes back in December. This has all been really hard on him too, because he can’t ever go make it to the doctor visits because of school, and on top of missing out on that, he’s alone in Austin, with no friends or family. I’m just so proud of him being so strong for our little family, and being such a loving and caring husband and already an amazing father. But, like I said, as soon as I start feeling sorry for our little family, I have to pull myself out of the selfishness and be thankful for what we do have…which is so much.
Blegh. Talk about being on repeat..you know you’ve been on bedrest a while when TLC starts playing repeats of “Baby Story”, and “Bringing Home Baby.” Oh, the boredom. Oh, and whoever decided they’d play a re-run of Vampire Diaries last night, let me tell you that “chicken” and I were very crushed! All we have to look forward to are our shows, and when they don’t play, we panic! So get it together next week or I’ll glare so hard at that Tv the producers will feel it.
My birthday is coming soon, like, almost a week away. Brandon will hopefully get to visit the weekend before since it falls on a Monday (lame), so i’m really looking forward to the next coming week to fly by. We’ll probably do our Halloween that weekend too since I probably won’t see him again until Thanksgiving. Besides Christmas, this is my favorite time of the year. I love the way the air smells, and the way the trees look. Seeing it outside the window just isn’t the same. I missed the fair (even though I hated it last year), and I will miss many other cute, fun fall activities. But. Next year, I’ll have a fat, healthy 7 month old baby girl to dress up and spoil, so it’s all worth it.
Well, “chicken” and I are off to the couch..
It was a lovely thirty minutes of sitting at the table, until next time..,