Yesterday I almost went bald..

..I almost ripped my hair out. One by one, each and every hair on my head. I was “this” close, and so tempted to try out the bald look.

(My living room, or lack of one)
Lillian has been feeling/eating and doing better since on medicine, but for some reason, she is going through a separation anxiety phase (which honestly, she’s been doing this her whole 6 months of life; she just figured out how to vocalize to get my attention.) 
Anytime I set her down, if I leave the room, (to use the bathroom, to wash dishes, to put up laundry, etc.) she screams. Not a colic scream like she used to. But a winey, “fake” scream. I guess I should say cry, because that’s what she’s trying to make herself do- but it just comes out “AHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHH!” As if someone was chopping her little baby fingers off (they aren’t) she’s just sitting in her walker and not being held. 
She’s also decided to sleep through the night (YAY!) but take about two, 30 minute cat naps a day. This is good and bad, because although I’m getting a good 9 hours of sleep (she wakes up at 7 a.m. on the dot, always) she is literally on me 24/7. Preventing me from getting anything done (I know, I complain too much.) but I’d just love to take a shower by myself, use the bathroom, etc. But this is always a problem for me, and it won’t ever be solved until she is 18+ and gone. (which I don’t ever want to happen!) So I will take it all in, and breathe. 
BREATHE. BREATHE. Count to 10. BREATHE.  Repeat a million times.
And that was my day yesterday. 
I was breathing a lot (more than it takes to live, I assure you) and counting my butt off. 
*
This is unrelated, but contributed to my terrible day:
When driving with a screaming baby in the car, you want to hurry to your destination. Not get behind the slowest girl on the face of the earth texting on her phone. She proceeded to break to get me to back off- which I didn’t, because I was 2 feet away from my apartment, and when I finally got to pass her, she flipped me off, and well, I can’t say that I had the best response either.
But seriously? How did she even notice me behind her since her text conversation was way more important than driving the speed limit? KDJFL:SDKJFSDL.
*
I’m praying that today is better, (as for she’s in her jumper letting me write this post) but she is a sneaky little bird, and can snap at any given moment. 🙂 
As for other news that is related to breathing, Brandon is sick with a sinus infection and I’m freaking out hysterically because I just got Lilly well. What if I get it? What if she gets it and it won’t go away for another 2+ months? What if she gets RSV again and it goes to her lung causing her to get pnemonia again? What if. What if. What if. 
If someone could please reassure me that it will all be ok, that’d be great. :/
And that’s all I’ve got cry about for today. 
 I should call this the blog about crying about my life, right?
Anyway, off to church for us! Praying it goes well! 
xoxo,
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