Thoughts.

Here are some random thoughts running through my mind lately:

-I cannot wait for my baby to get here. I’m terrified of another c-section again, but for some reason I’m ready for it. (Ask me that again in 3 months) I also cannot name the kid. So I’ll have her and she will be baby no name. 

– coffee has been making me sick again lately. I only do half caffeine, but for some reason it’s making me gag and I’m barely living my life. 
-insomnia has hit. I pee. Lay in bed and think about stuff. Pee again. Baby moves. Realize I need to get shit done, (like where the hell am I going to put the babies clothes at?) Pee again. Baby moves. This is me all night… My brain won’t ever turn off.
-I’m pretty sure Lilly has OCD like Brandon and I. We have different kinds, but hers I think is a mixture. I’ve been noticing things like, her meltdown this morning over her socks feeling weird in her shoes. And she cannot wear 3/4 shirts because she doesn’t get why they don’t go down all the way. She also does this thing with her fingers when she’s stressed or concentrating. I think it’s cute, but I can tell her little mind is going into overdrive. I guess it’s worrying me because I know how hard growing up with OCD is.. I’ve gotta be patient and offer support. But some mornings (like this morning) was hard for us both. And i don’t sleep or drink coffee so….

-Christmas is coming! And we are pretty Much done shopping for everyone. I love the holidays but shopping stresses my brain out. We bought our angel tree babies stuff again this year and I’ve cried on and off about all of it for a good week. 

-did Kim and Kanye really name their baby Saint? Like I cannot deal with this. 

-other than working (barely) and waddling around now, I feel like life is moving like a blur. I’m ready for 2 weeks off of slow pace and not having to get dressed. Let’s just hope my sanity can hang on this long. 
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