When your kid talks too much in the car and you can’t hear Regina Spektor (and other stuff)

*A fun park day with this little tyrant. 

I’m sitting here typing this on my phone while Lilly lays beside me, not going to sleep. I have a cramp in my pinky and I’ve dropped my phone on my face twice now. 

To be honest I’m in a bad mood. No particular reason, just bitchy. You’re allowed those moments right? Especially pregnant. I’m giving myself the okay. 
A lot of things have been racing through my mind lately. Nothing new there.
I don’t know if it’s nesting or knowing that I’m about to quit my job and we’re going to be down some money, but i want to totally revamp my whole house.
Like, urban outfitters stupid app makes me want all the things.. Tapestries, shelves, MORE PLANTS. Totally sucks. Welcome to the poor life, yo. 
Another thing that totally sucks is our insurance. This baby is costing us a ton- which I don’t mind too much. What I do mind is paying almost $200 for Lillian’s doctors visit for strep last month. Until we meet our incredibly high deductible- we pay a shit ton for small office visits. I’m sure with my c-section (even though that’s already payed for) the hospital bill should probably help us meet that deductible real quick. -_- I’ve heard they charge like $80 for a pad so like. We screwed. 
My biggest regret today was our spontaneous family nap that was 2 hours long. It’s 10pm and Lilly’s looking at me wide-eyed in the dark. Fml. 

Speaking of Lilly, she’s been on a huge hyper active, extremely sensitive mood swingy mood lately. Like the past two weeks. Her teacher and her gymnastics teacher asked what I’ve been giving her because she’s been “off the walls” lately. I don’t know what the hell has happened. She can’t even sit still to poop, and frankly I don’t understand or like it either. Her bad attitude goes along with this hyper-ness and in turn sets my nerves on fire. A fat, tired pregnant mommy doesn’t want you throwing fits and jumping on her at the same time, kid. Cut that shit out. (I love you forever though.) Also, she’s turned into a completely picky eater which she has never been. That’s my biggest annoyance is picky eaters. This will not stand damnit. Macaroni and cheese is no longer in our house. 

I’ve got a lot of baby things ready. We ordered our favorite born free bottles, and we’ve got some clothes (new and old.) A sweet friend of mine is letting me completely use her mamaroo, so I’m pumped about that. Bassinet is next to my bed. I’ve got cloth diapers and plan on having a small get together for some more diapers and little things. I pretty much forgot what all I need for a baby, especially a newborn. Whoops. So that’s stressful. 

I’m about to give birth in 8 weeks. So I’m freaking out over being cut open again. Worst pain of my life. Worst constipation of my life. 
But I also get a new baby in 8 weeks! I’m so excited for that sweet face and to smell her beautiful smell. Beats out the terrifying fact that my body will be sliced open. 

Look at that smoosh. She wouldn’t be still, had hiccups and is a whopping 3.4 ounces. I’m mad that my last ultrasound I got, I didn’t get a good face picture. I did get to see her eyes open and looking right at the screen. That was creepy. And cute. 

Hope you enjoyed this novel. 

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