brb, i’m falling apart.

(ignore that staple in her head, lol, but look at that darling little face.)

Hello 8 months. (Almost)
My feet are swelling so badly in the late afternoon/evenings. I never got swollen until the very end with Lilly, but maybe thats because I was on bedrest the entire time, and this time i’m literally up CONSTANTLY. I’ve been finding myself getting more and more emotional about this being my last month (maybe one and a half) of just Lillian and I. It’s been us for so long. 5 freaking years of our little duo. I’m scared of the changes and what’s to come. I’m afraid of disrupting our routine. Our groove we’ve had going for her entire life.
Funny how the future freaks me out so badly. I hate not knowing, but i’m also so so so excited to be a family of four. I’m ready for her to be here. And to squish her. And Lilly is too. She has never, not once talked badly about the baby. She’s been having some issues of her own- but I honestly don’t think it’s anything to do with the baby. She’s wanted a baby sister since she was like 18 months. Everyday she kisses my belly and talks to her. She talks about how she will take care of her and help me, and how she will hold her when she cries.
Her teacher told me the other day all she can talk about is the baby. So that makes my heart sing. I hope it stays this way after she’s actually out- wailing and all hours of the night and destroying Lilly’s Lego houses.

Having two kids is going to be a huge change for me. Lillian’s been so difficult, there are days I barely make it with just her. Let’s just all hope I can do this.
There’s no turning back now.

I went to Lilly’s open house this morning at her little school. She got to show me her favorite areas to play in (centers, duh) and I got to look at her little art/ writers workshop book. I may have gone to my jeep after and cried. Pregnancy is killing it. She’s such a smart little girl. She can practically write her own sentences. Such a smarty. And every picture almost has something to do with her “baby sister.” I’m holding her in almost every picture. HEART FREAKING MELT. GAH.

A hoc. / a house 

her mermaid bra cracks me up.

i c a fox. / i see a fox. GENIOUS. 

so cute.

These pictures made this post. I’m so in love.


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