Rsv, again.

Remeber that time Lillian got rsv when she was 2 weeks young, wa hospitalized for two weeks and got pneumonia in her left lung.
I remember it like it was yesterday.

And yet here we are. Almost exactly a year (give a month) with the exact same thing. Except without the pneumonia. And we’re not in the hospital. I’m terrified of all of tht happening again. She started coughing Friday night- I took her in Saturday morning and the test came back positive for rsv. I cried. Broke down. Yes, she’s 11 months now and stronger, but nothing will ever scare me more than those 2 weeks and here it is again. I want to die.
I’ve been doing reaching treatments around the clock, keeping her lungs open and cleared. She’s on an antibiotic for the beginning of an ear infection, and I’ve been giving her doctor prescribed dm drops to stop the coughing. Even though she’s hacking up constantly, I’ve heard that’s good, but it scares me.
This morning she’s acting ok- but I can’t tell if it’s her throat or chest that’s rattling. Debating on whether or not to take her. My mama instinct is usually spot on but right now it’s clouded.

Anyway, vaporizer, stram showers, boiling pot of water on the stove and saline drops is what were doing all day.
Praying this goes away soon.
Xoxo.